Husbands and wives continue to evolve together and what they are attracted to in each other in a lot of ways changes over time as well. The things I was attracted to in my wife before we were married have changed. Some of them are the same, but even the things that have remained the same have taken on a new form – a better form. This list is compromised of some of my own feelings as well as the feelings of other husbands that I respect.
Let me give you some thoughts for the wives. Consider it a little “insider info” on how to keep attracting your husband.
These are 20 things that husbands find attractive in their wives…
1. How she treats her husband and their marriage
One of the least attractive things about a wife is when her attitude seems to just be one of resignation over her “burden” of marriage that she has to bear. A husband doesn’t want a wife that is willing to just “tolerate him” and their marriage. A husband doesn’t want a wife that belittles him to her friends. A husband is attracted to a wife that treats him well and has a desire to be in a committed lifelong relationship with him. Husbands want wives that will do anything for their marriage.
2. Good mom
Husbands are attracted to good moms. I know the term “good’ is pretty broad, but I think you can figure out what I mean by that. A husband is attracted to his wife when he sees her interacting with their children, desiring to be with their children, and wanting to help their children grow and flourish. A husband is not attracted to a wife that complains to him about their children.
3. Not being dumped on
Husbands do not want to be dumped on the second they walk in the door from work. I am not saying that husbands shouldn’t participate in the “home life” when they get home, but no man wants to come home and immediately be dumped on the second he gets in the door with how bad the kids were all day, how the washing machine is broken, how stressful their wife’s day was. Help your husband look forward to coming home. Make home a sanctuary.
Husbands are attracted to a wife that is optimistic. They are not opposed to reality, but they don’t want the constant doom and gloom. They want a partner they can dream with about their future together and not focus on all the negative things that could happen and worry about things that they can’t control. Life is real enough without any additional emphasis, be optimistic.
5. When she is attracted to her husband
Husbands find it very attractive when their wife is genuinely attracted them and has a strong desire to please them. A husband can sense when she truly desires to be with him and he loves it when she does. A husband wants the wife to reciprocate his feelings of attraction.
6. She takes care of herself
Wives, take care of yourselves. Shows that you still care about attracting your husband, even physically, the way you would when you were dating – we notice. Men are visually stimulated and we need our wives to continue to attract us with their bodies, because if they don’t, the door of temptation is opened wider. A husband is attracted to a wife that gets herself ready every day, a wife that cares enough about her husband to look nice, a wife that exercises and cares for herself.
7. Quiet and gentle spirit
A pleasant disposition is very attractive. Husbands don’t want drama. A wife that is always angry, always upset, always having problems with this friend or that person from church is not attractive. A quiet and gentle spirit is highly desired.
8. Respected by others
Having a well-respected wife is attractive. I like to know that my wife is the kind of woman that others respect and emulate. Husbands want wives that are respected in the community, in the church, in their social circle, etc.
9. Doing well the role that she has chosen
Whatever the role is that you and your spouse have decided on for you – do that role well. If you work a job outside the home from 9-5, do it well. If you are a stay-at-home mother, or homemaker, or domestic diva, or whatever you call it, do it well and don’t complain about it. Husbands are attracted to a wife that has dinner ready and keeps a clean / tidy home. Husbands are attracted to their wife’s ability to handle themselves and their affairs.
10. Nudity – less clothes / more body
Husbands want to see their wife’s body. Keep attracting your husband – less is more! Let me remind you again that men are visually stimulated – make sure your husband sees some skin. Don’t wear a flannel nightshirt and white socks to bed, keep him interested.
Some men may want a weak, spineless woman. Real men don’t. Husbands are not afraid of a confident woman – in fact, we are attracted to them. Confident, but not prideful. Submissive to her husband – doesn’t do it just because she has to, but because she trusts in him and in God.
12. A servant’s heart
A wife that volunteers at school, and at church, or in the community is attractive. Husbands desire a wife that wants to serve others. One that serves her family well. Don’t do so much that your husband feels neglected, but serve – he’ll like it.
13. She compliments him
We don’t really want a wife that is just like us. We enjoy doing some of the same things together, but we want a wife that is different than us. Her strengths compliment my weaknesses and vice versa. We compliment each other, she is the yin to my yang (whatever that means).
14. Thoughtful and compassionate
She is considerate of others and thinks about how others feel. An attractive wife has a general concern for others. Others like; the elderly, single moms, or the distressed. Husbands love to see the side of a wife that is considerate of others that a husband may not even see. I think this is one reason that an elder is supposed to have a good wife to work alongside him. Women see the world, they see people differently and that is attractive to us husbands.
I can totally understand why husbands in the old black and white shows of yesteryear would sit out in the waiting room and pass out cigars while their wives were in the delivery room squeezing out a newborn. I am not saying seeing the actual process of childbirth is attractive (some things cannot be unseen in my mind), but knowing that your wife birthed your child and was willing to let that tiny baby contort her body for 9+ months is attractive. I love my wife for giving birth to my two children – it’s an amazing thing – I don’t want to watch it happen ever again, but she is awesome for doing it!
16. When she is into sex
Husbands don’t really want a wife that only has sex because she feels it is a duty she must perform. Husbands are attracted to wives that have sex, because they desire to have sex with their husbands and they enjoy it and are open about it with them.
17. Focused on spiritual for herself and her family
A wife that is a strong spiritual influence on her children is attractive to a husband. Wives that are spiritually minded are attractive. Husbands desire to have wives that love God even more than they love their husbands.
18. Sense of humor
Who wouldn’t be attracted to a wife that has a good sense of humor? A good genuine laugh is definitely attractive. Husbands want wives that like to have fun. Don’t try to outdo your husband’s charm and wit and sense of humor though (warning to my wife), but have fun, be fun, have a good sense of humor – you’re going to need it over the course of a lifelong marriage.
19. Wife having respect for the work the husband does
Maybe this one stands out to me, because I value the love language of affirmation, but husbands are attracted to their wives respecting what they do and like it when they take some kind of interest in their vocation.
20. Sleeps well
This one leads back to another article, What Beautiful Really Looks Like. I am attracted to my wife sleeping well, because I know what beautiful really looks like. My wife works hard, serves hard, and plays hard – I love to see her sleep well, because she deserves it!
Wives, please keep trying to attract your husbands!