They Chose You
It might sound a little odd, but thank your friends for choosing you. They have one life and a finite amount of time and love to expend – and they choose to spend it on you! Thank them. Appreciate your friends and what true friendship really means. Express it to them in words, in deeds, in kindness shown, in love given, in prayer, and in an earnest desire for the best for them in all situations.
Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead. – Anna Cummins
Friendship is such a valuable gift to give – so when it has been offered to you, realize it’s worth and express your appreciation for it. I think in this digital social media age we forget what real friendship is. It’s more than liking a picture or leaving a comment on some social media platform. It’s more than saying hello in passing at church or school or at the store. It’s more than just saying that you are friends with someone, because you casually know them and don’t dislike them. There’s so much more to having a real friend than that.
We have so many people to choose our friends from. If you think about it, the Facebook way, we think we have 100’s, if not 1,000’s of “friends” already. So, why do we still feel lonely? Really – how many true friends do you have? I assume you probably only have a handful, if that. Most of us probably have 2 or 3 real friends. As we grow up we realize it is less important to have lots of friends and more important to have real ones. People that we know we can count on, look forward to seeing as often as possible, and we would trust our children’s lives with if we were gone.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.”
That’s true friendship.
What Is A Real Friend?
- A real friend will tell you what you need to hear
- A real friend will call and talk to you on the phone – just because
- A real friend would do the most boring stuff with you – just to be with you
- A real friend can be trusted with the deepest parts of your heart and soul
- A real friend can communicate with just a look or a rolling of the eyes
- A real friend will stick with you in the hard times, not just the good – hard times will always reveal true friends
- A real friend will do something for you even when there is nothing for them to gain
- A real friend will bring you food when you’re sick and visit you in the hospital
- A real friend is one that when you walk into their house, your wifi connects automatically
- A real friend has seen you at your absolute worst and still loves you
- A real friend will share their dessert with you
- A real friend says nice things behind your back
- A real friend will answer their phone every single time you call
- A real friend will buy you a coffee
- A real friend won’t tell any of your secrets
- A real friend will celebrate your life even when it’s better than theirs
- A real friend will sit quietly with you and hold your hand while you cry
- A real friend will hug you and you can feel their love
- A real friend doesn’t have to check their calendar – they’re available for you
- A real friend knows when you need them – and they are there
- A real friend is a friend you don’t see for a year, because of distance, but you pick up with right where you left off immediately – like you were never separated
- A real friend gets all your jokes, especially the really funny inside ones
- A real friend will never leave you
- A real friend remembers important dates
- A real friend sends you handwritten cards in the mail
- A real friend is the one you call at 2 AM
- A real friend makes the goods time twice as good and the bad times half as bad
- A real friend would die for you
Choose the Friends That You Deserve
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis
When choosing your real friends, know what is important to you in a friend, and don’t compromise. Choose a friend that will make you a better person and will help you grow. Shakespeare said that, “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”
Make your friend decisions carefully – it’s a potentially and hopefully lifelong investment that you’re making, so take your time. You want people that will always be there for you. You don’t want friends that are too needy or jealous. Focus your energy on a friend that is good for you. You only have one life to live and a finite amount of time and love to expend – so do it wisely.
Sometimes though we might make the wrong decisions about our friends, or maybe our friends change in ways we didn’t expect. There may come a time in our lives where we have to be willing to walk away from a friendship that is no longer mutually beneficial. Maybe your friendship is actually doing more harm than good. Be willing to choose another friend.
You deserve good true friends!
Be the Friend That They Deserve
When you are fortunate enough to have a real friend though, work hard at keeping them. Socrates said, “Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.” Real friends are so worth the effort, keep them by being a friend that they deserve.
Be the kind of friend that you would want to have. Go out of your way – go above and beyond – outdo your friend! Could you imagine having a friend that is like that? Well, if you want that kind of a friend, be that kind of a friend.
Don’t take advantage of your friends either. Don’t make your relationship all about you. Khalil Gibran said, “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, not an opportunity.” Don’t use your friends – instead, be used by them. Be willing to sacrifice for a real friend, but not used up.
Make your friendships count – make them matter. Be deliberate about the friends you choose, but once you have them – go all in! “From the moment I decide you are a friend, it does not matter how long I have known you, because I make a commitment right then and there… To be there for you when you need me. That is the way I live my life, and that fact will never change.” – Aaron Usery
Make your friends thankful that they have a real friend like you!
We All Have One Real Friend
No matter what this life brings, no matter how many friends come into and go out of our lives – we all have a friend – Jesus – who won’t leave us, won’t forsake us, and did die for us. Thank that real friend for choosing you every single day. Choose Him! He has an eternity to spend and He wants to spend it with you.